IRC Bible Tales Volume 1 - In the beginning...

A while back, I came across an...interesting version of Romeo and Juliet. Later on, while goofing around in IRC, I wondered why nobody had done anything similar with one of the most-read books of all time: the Bible. After all, the Reverend Brendan Powell Smith went to the effort of reenacting a bunch of the aforementioned holy book with Legos. If he could undertake such a monumental task, someone could surely translate a bit of the Bible into l33t-sp34k. And that someone turned out to be me.

If you aren't averse to a bit of good-natured blasphemy and foul language, have a look at the chat that started it all.

--> You are now talking on #earth
--> God (God@heaven.com) has joined #earth

<God> holy shit it's dark in here
* God makes a sun
<God> w00t
<God> i'm bored
<God> where is everybody

--> You are now talking on #gardenofeden
--> God (God@heaven.com) has joined #gardenofeden
--> Adam (Adam@gardenofeden.com) has joined #gardenofeden
--> Eve (Eve@gardenofeden.com) has joined #gardenofeden

<Adam> a/s/l
<Eve> lol, i dunno
<Eve> i just got here
<Adam> wanna cyber
<Eve> ok

--> Serpent (bigasssnake@gardenofeden.com) has joined #earth

<Serpent> cool, there's a chick in here
<Serpent> got a webcam?
<Eve> yeah
<Serpent> OMFG
<Serpent> SHE'S NAKED
* Serpent goes to jax0r
<Eve> wtf
<Eve> is there something wrong with that
<Adam> look guys, i have a cam too
<Serpent> GAAAAHHHH
<Serpent> I DONT WANNA SEE THAT SHIT
<Serpent> GET DRESSED U FAGET
<Adam> whats that mean?
<Serpent> u don't know what clothes are?
<Adam> no
<Serpent> omg
<Serpent> u fuckin noob
<Serpent> go to the store or somethin
<God> yeah...get the pr0n out of my channel kthx
<Adam> ok...brb
<Eve> me too

(Later...)

<Serpent> u noobs wouldn't want warez, would u?
<Eve> whats that
<Eve> am i gonna get in trouble
<Serpent> who cares
<Serpent> it's free
<Serpent> and u can run ur own server and do whatever u want
<Serpent> u can tell god to stfu
<Eve> ok where can i get that
<Adam> i want some too
<God> what the hell are you doing?
<Eve> nothing really
<God> bullshit
<God> get the fuck out of my channel

--- God sets ban on Adam@*
--- God sets ban on Eve@*
<-- God has kicked Adam from #gardenofeden (Banned)
<-- God has kicked Eve from #gardenofeden (Banned)

<Serpent> lol pwned
<God> you GTFO too

--- God sets ban on bigasssnake@*
<-- God has kicked Serpent from #gardenofeden (Banned)